1\u3001I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn\u2019t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
\u5f00\u59cb\u6211\u76f4\u63a5\u6c42\u4e0a\u5e1d\u8d50\u8f86\u81ea\u884c\u8f66\u3002 \u540e\u6765\u6211\u7422\u78e8\u4e0a\u5e1d\u529e\u4e8b\u513f\u4e0d\u662f\u8fd9\u4e2a\u8def\u6570\u3002 \u4e8e\u662f\u8001\u5b50\u5077\u4e86\u4e00\u8f86\u7136\u540e\u6c42\u4e0a\u5e1d\u5bbd\u6055\u3002<\/p>\n
2\u3001I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
\u6211\u5e0c\u671b\u80fd\u50cf\u7237\u7237\u90a3\u6837\uff0c\u5b89\u9759\u5730\u5728\u7761\u68a6\u4e2d\u6b7b\u53bb\u2026\u2026 \u800c\u4e0d\u662f\u8981\u50cf\u4ed6\u5f00\u7684\u8f66\u4e0a\u90a3\u4e9b\u60e8\u53eb\u6ef4\u4e58\u5ba2\u4e00\u6837\u6b7b\u6cd5\u554a\uff01<\/p>\n
3\u3001Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
\u4f60\u6c38\u8fdc\u4e0d\u80fd\u6218\u80dc\u4e00\u4e2a\u7eafSB,\u56e0\u4e3a\u4ed6\u4f1a\u628a\u4f60\u7684\u667a\u5546\u62c9\u5230\u8ddf\u4ed6\u4e2a\u6c34\u5e73,\u7136\u540e\u7528\u4e30\u5bcc\u7684\u7ecf\u9a8c\u6253\u8d25\u4f60<\/p>\n
4\u3001The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it\u2019s still on the list.
\u76f4\u8bd1\uff1a\u5728\u8fd9\u4e2a\u4e16\u754c\u4e0a,\u6211\u6700\u4e0d\u613f\u610f\u505a\u7684\u4e8b\u5c31\u662f\u4f24\u5bb3\u4f60,\u4f46\u662f\u8fd9\u4ef6\u4e8b\u4ecd\u5728\u6211\u7684\u8003\u8651\u4e4b\u5217\u3002<\/p>\n
\u610f\u8bd1a\uff1a\u6211\u771f\u4e0d\u60f3\u4f24\u5bb3\u4f60\uff0c\u4f46\u4f60\u4e5f\u522b\u903c\u6211\u3002<\/p>\n
\u610f\u8bd1b\uff1a\u543e\u867d\u4e0d\u6740\u4f2f\u4ec1\uff0c\u4f2f\u4ec1\u7531\u6211\u800c\u6b7b\u3002
5\u3001If sex is a pain in the ass, then you\u2019re doing it wrong\u2026
a. \u5982\u89c9\u563f\u54bb\u4e43\u5c41\u773c\u4e0d\u80fd\u627f\u53d7\u4e4b\u75db\uff0c\u90a3\u662f\u4f60\u64cd\u9519\u6d1e\u2026<\/p>\n
b. \u82e5XXOO\u662f\u4e0b\u4f53\u7684\u75db\uff0c\u90a3\u4e48\uff0c\u662f\u4f60\u64cd\u9519\u3002<\/p>\n
6\u3001The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.<\/p>\n
a. \u65e9\u8d77\u6ef4\u5c0f\u9e1f\u6709\u866b\u866b\uff01\u665a\u5230\u7684\u8001\u9f20\u6709\u5976\u916a\uff01<\/p>\n
b. \u65e9\u8d77\u7684\u9e1f\u513f\u6709\u866b\u5403\uff0c\u65e9\u8d77\u7684\u866b\u513f\u88ab\u9e1f\u5403\u3002<\/p>\n
7\u3001We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
\u5728\u54b1\u4eec\u8fd9\u5676\u54d2\u9001\u5916\u5356\u7684\u90fd\u6bd4\u8b66\u5bdf\u6765\u7684\u5feb.<\/p>\n
8\u3001Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don\u2019t have a good partner, you\u2019d better have a good hand.
XXOO\u5c31\u8c61\u6253\u6865\u724c\u3002 \u5982\u679c\u5bf9\u624b\u4e0d\u597d\u4f7f\uff0c\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u624b\u5fc5\u987b\u597d\u4f7f\u3002<\/p>\n
9\u3001 Some people are like Slinkies \u2026 not really good for anything, but you can\u2019t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
\u6709\u4e9b\u4eba\u5c31\u50cf Slinkies \uff08\u5f39\u7c27\u73a9\u5177\uff09\uff0c\u6ca1\u4ec0\u4e48\u5b9e\u5728\u7528\u5904\uff0c\u4f46\u770b\u4ed6\u4eec\u5728\u697c\u68af\u4e0a\u5012\u817e\u6765\u6363\u817e\u53bb\u8fd8\u662f\u5f88\u6709\u559c\u611f\u3002<\/p>\n
10\u3001Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
\u653f\u5ba2\u548c\u7eb8\u5c3f\u5e03\u6709\u4e00\u4e2a\u5171\u540c\u70b9\u5c31\u662f\uff1a\u4ed6\u4eec\u90fd\u5f88\u6709\u89c4\u5f8b\u5730\u88ab\u66ff\u6362\uff0c\u800c\u4e14\u56e0\u4e3a\u540c\u4e00\u4e2a\u7406\u7531\u2014\u2014\u810f\u4e86\uff01\uff01<\/p>\n
11\u3001War does not determine who is right \u2013 only who is left.
\u6218\u4e89\u4e0d\u80fd\u51b3\u51fa\u6b63\u4e49\uff0c\u4f46\u80fd\u5224\u51fa\u54ea\u65b9\u51fa\u5c40\u3002<\/p>\n
12\u3001Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
a. \u5973\u4eba\u7684\u9ad8\u6f6e\u53ef\u80fd\u662f\u88c5\u51fa\u6765\u7684\u3002\u4f46\u662f\u7537\u4ebaTMD\u53ef\u4ee5\u6574\u6bb5\u611f\u60c5\u90fd\u662f\u88c5\u51fa\u6765\u7684\uff01<\/p>\n
b. \u5973\u4eba\u5047\u88c5\u9ad8\u6f6e\u4ee5\u83b7\u53d6\u771f\u5b9e\u7684\u611f\u60c5\uff1b\u7537\u4eba\u5047\u88c5\u611f\u60c5\u4ee5\u83b7\u53d6\u771f\u5b9e\u7684\u9ad8\u6f6e\u3002<\/p>\n
13\u3001We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
\u6211\u4eec\u6c38\u8fdc\u4e0d\u53ef\u80fd\u771f\u6b63\u7684\u6210\u719f\uff0c\u6211\u4eec\u53ea\u662f\u5b66\u4f1a\u5728\u4f17\u4eba\u9762\u524d\u88c5\u903c\u3002<\/p>\n
14\u3001Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
\u7537\u4eba\u5c31\u4e24\u79cd\u72b6\u6001\uff1a\u997f \u548c \u6027\u9965\u6e34\u3002 \u8981\u662f\u4ed6\u4e0d\u786c\uff0c\u5c31\u7ed9\u4ed6\u4e2a\u4e09\u660e\u6cbb\uff01<\/p>\n
15\u3001Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
\u5149\u603b\u662f\u6bd4\u58f0\u97f3\u8dd1\u7684\u5feb\u70b9\u2026.\u8fd9\u5c31\u662f\u4e3a\u561b\u6709\u4e9bSB\u53ea\u6709\u5728\u5f00\u53e3\u8bf4\u8bdd\u4e4b\u540e\u4f60\u624d\u53d1\u73b0\u4ed6\u662f\u5728\u88c5B\u2026<\/p>\n
16\u3001My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
\u6211\u5988\u6bcf\u6b21\u5bf9\u7740\u6211\u9a82\u8349\u6ce5\u9a6c\u7684\u65f6\u5019\u90fd\u6ca1\u770b\u51fa\u5176\u4e2d\u7b11\u70b9\u3002<\/p>\n
17\u3001I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
\u66fe\u4ee5\u4e3a\u6211\u60f3\u8981\u7684\u662f\u804c\u4e1a\uff0c\u7ed3\u679c\u53d1\u73b0\u6211\u53ea\u662f\u60f3\u8981\u5de5\u8d44\u3002<\/p>\n
18\u3001If you think nobody cares if you\u2019re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
\u4f60\u8981\u662f\u89c9\u5f97\u6ca1\u4eba\u5728\u4e4e\u4f60\u7684\u6b7b\u6d3b,\u90a3\u4f60\u4e0d\u59a8\u5c1d\u8bd5\u4e00\u4e0b\u8ddf\u4f60\u7684\u503a\u4e3b\u73a9\u8eb2\u732b\u732b~~<\/p>\n
19\u3001Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. \u201cYes\u201d is the answer.
XXOO\u5e76\u4e0d\u662f\u7ed3\u8bba\u800c\u662f\u4e2a\u95ee\u9898\u2026\u723d\u4e0d\u723d\u624d\u662f\u7b54\u6848\u2026<\/p>\n
20\u3001Evening news is where they begin with \u2018Good evening\u2019, and then proceed to tell you why it isn\u2019t.
\u665a\u95f4\u65b0\u95fb\u603b\u662f\u4ee5\u201c\u665a\u4e0a\u597d\u201d\u5f00\u5934\uff0c\u518d\u544a\u8bc9\u4f60\u4f60\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\u597d\u4e0d\u4e86\u3002<\/p>\n
21\u3001How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
\u76f4\u8bd1\uff1a\u4e00\u6839\u706b\u67f4\u80fd\u70b9\u7740\u6574\u7247\u68ee\u6797\uff0c\u4e00\u76d2\u706b\u67f4\u4e5f\u751f\u4e0d\u8d77\u4e2a\u8425\u706b\uff0c\u8fd9\u548b\u56de\u4e8b\uff01
\u610f\u8bd1\uff1a\u60f3\u5f53\u5e74\u54e5\u6234\u5957\u90fd\u80fd\u8ba9\u4eba\u6000\u5b55\uff0c\u770b\u4eca\u671d\u53d4\u7adf\u7136\u53bb\u770b\u7537\u79d1<\/p>\n
22\u3001If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea\u2026 does that mean that one enjoys it?
\u5982\u679c4\/5\u7684\u4eba\u5728\u5fcd\u53d7\u8179\u6cfb\u7684\u75db\u82e6\uff0c\u90a3\u5269\u4e0b1\/5\u548b\u56de\u4e8b\uff1f\u5f88\u4eab\u53d7\u5417\uff1f<\/p>\n
23\u3001Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
\u76f4\u8bd1\uff1a\u77e5\u8bc6\u5c31\u662f\u8bf4\u4f60\u77e5\u9053\u897f\u7ea2\u67ff\u662f\u4e00\u79cd\u6c34\u679c\uff1b\u667a\u6167\u5c31\u597d\u4f3c\u4e0d\u8981\u628a\u5b83\u653e\u8fdb\u6c34\u679c\u6c99\u62c9\u91cc\u3002
\u610f\u8bd1a\uff1a\u77e5\u8bc6\u5c31\u662f\u544a\u8bc9\u4f60\u8bf4\u5e94\u8be5\u628a\u9e21\u86cb\u653e\u8fdb\u7bee\u5b50\uff0c\u667a\u6167\u5219\u662f\u53eb\u4f60\u4e0d\u8981\u628a\u6240\u6709\u9e21\u86cb\u90fd\u653e\u8fdb\u4e00\u4e2a\u7bee\u5b50\u3002
\u610f\u8bd1b:\u6240\u8c13\u77e5\u8bc6\u5c31\u662f\u77e5\u9053\u97e9\u5c11\u548c\u5c0f\u56db\u90fd\u5c5e\u4e8e80\u540e\uff0c\u4f46\u667a\u6167\u544a\u8bc9\u4f60\u8fd9\u7ec8\u8fd8\u662f\u7537\u5973\u6709\u522b~<\/p>\n
24\u3001If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
\u4e0a\u5e1d\u7785\u7740\u54b1\u4eec\u5462\uff0c\u5927\u4f19\u597d\u6b79\u559c\u611f\u70b9\u5427\uff01<\/p>\n
25\u3001Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
\u65e0\u8bba\uff0c\u5728\u4efb\u4f55\u60c5\u51b5\u4e0b\uff0c\u6c38\u8fdc\uff0c\u4e0d\u8981\u5728\u4e00\u4e2a\u591c\u665a\uff0c\u540c\u65f6\u5403\uff0c\u5b89\u7720\u836f\uff0c\u548c\u901a\u4fbf\u7075\u3002<\/p>\n
26\u3001I didn\u2019t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
\u8001\u5b50\u62fc\u6b7b\u62fc\u6d3b\u594b\u6597\u5230\u98df\u7269\u94fe\u9876\u7aef\uff0c\u4e0d\u662f\u4e3a\u4e86\u6210\u4e3a\u4e00\u4e2a\u7d20\u98df\u8005\u3002<\/p>\n
27\u3001A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
\u516c\u8f66\u7ad9\u5440\u516c\u8f66\u505c\u3002\u706b\u8f66\u7ad9\u5440\u706b\u8f66\u505c\u3002\u4ffa\u684c\u4e0a\u6709\u4e2a\u5de5\u4f5c\u7ad9\u2026<\/p>\n
28\u3001If I agreed with you we\u2019d both be wrong.
\u8981\u662f\u6211\u542c\u4f60\u7684\uff0c\u54b1\u4fe9\u5c31\u90fd2B\u4e86\u3002<\/p>\n
29\u3001 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
\u6d77\u8c5a\u53ef\u806a\u660e\u4e86\u4f60\u77e5\u9053\u4e0d\uff1f\u53ea\u8981\u9a6f\u517b\u51e0\u4e2a\u661f\u671f\uff0c\u5b83\u4eec\u5c31\u80fd\u8ba9\u4eba\u7c7b\u4e56\u4e56\u7ad9\u5728\u6c60\u8fb9\u7ed9\u5b83\u4eec\u6254\u9c7c\u5403\u4e86\u3002<\/p>\n
30\u3001A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
a. \u4e0b\u68cb\uff0c\u6211\u4e0d\u884c\uff1b\u73a9\u8dc6\u62f3\u9053\uff0c\u7535\u8111\u4e0d\u884c\uff01
b. \u4e0b\u8c61\u68cb\u7535\u8111\u628a\u6211\u73a9\u5f97\u56e2\u56e2\u8f6c\uff0c\u62f3\u51fb\u6211\u80fd\u628a\u673a\u7bb1\u8e39\u5f97\u4e03\u96f6\u516b\u6563\uff01<\/p>\n
31\u3001I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with \u201cGuess\u201d on it\u2026so I said \u201cImplants?\u201d
\u7785\u89c1\u4e2a\u59d0\u59d0\uff0c\u80f8\u524d\u8863\u670d\u4e0a\u5199\u7740\u201cGuess\u201d\u2026\u4ffa\u5c31\u95ee\u4e86\u4e00\u53e5\uff1a\u201c\u2026\u9686\u8fc7\uff1f\u201d<\/p>\n
32\u3001 Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
\u5b69\u5b50\u5c31\u662f\uff1a\u4f60\u5148\u82b12\u5e74\uff0c\u6559\u4e2b\u4eec\u8d70\u8def\u548c\u8bf4\u8bdd\u3002\u7136\u540e\u4f60\u518d\u82b116\u5e74\u6559\u4e2b\u4eec\u5750\u5b9a\u548c\u95ed\u5634\u3002<\/p>\n
33\u3001Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\u5f53\u4f60\u8bf4\u5929\u4e0a\u6709400\u4ebf\u661f\u661f\u65f6\u4ed6\u4e0d\u6000\u7591\uff0c\u5374\u504f\u8981\u68c0\u67e5\u4f60\u6240\u8bf4\u7684\u201c\u6cb9\u6f06\u672a\u5e72\u201d\uff1f<\/p>\n
34\u3001Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
a. \u5b81\u613f\u95ed\u5634\u5f53\u50bb\u74dc\uff0c\u4e5f\u522b\u5b66\u4e4c\u9e26\u4e71\u5471\u5471\u3002
b. \u8d8a\u89e3\u91ca\u8d8aSB\uff0c\u4e0d\u8bf4\u8bdd\u6700NB\u3002
c. \u527d\u608d\u7684\u4eba\u751f\u4e0d\u9700\u8981\u89e3\u91ca
d. \u5b81\u53ef\u95ed\u53e3\u88ab\u4eba\u5f53SB\uff0c\u4e5f\u4e0d\u5f20\u53e3\u89e3\u91ca\u6240\u6709\u7591\u3002<\/p>\n
35\u3001A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don\u2019t need it.
\u94f6\u884c\u5c31\u662f\u5f53\u4f60\u8bc1\u660e\u4e86\u4f60\u4e0d\u9700\u8981\u94b1\u7684\u65f6\u5019\u53ef\u4ee5\u501f\u94b1\u7ed9\u4f60\u7684\u5730\u65b9<\/p>\n
36\u3001Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
a.\u5bf9\u4f60\u7684\u95ee\u9898\u54c8\u54c8\u5927\u7b11\u5427\uff0c\u522b\u4eba\u90fd\u5728\u8fd9\u4e48\u505a\u3002<\/p>\n
b. \u4f60\u6709\u4ec0\u4e48\u4e0d\u5f00\u5fc3\u7684\uff1f\u8bf4\u51fa\u6765\u7ed9\u5927\u5bb6\u5f00\u5fc3\u5f00\u5fc3\u3002<\/p>\n
37\u3001The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
a. \u6211\u77e5\u9053\u6ca1\u4eba\u5728\u6211\u8111\u5b50\u91cc\u8ddf\u6211\u804a\u5929\uff0c\u4f46\u90a3\u4e9b\u8bdd\u771fTM\u6709\u7528\uff01
\u610f\u8bd1\uff1a\u6211\u5e7b\u60f3\u7684\u4f4e\u541f\u4e0d\u4e00\u5b9a\u662f\u771f\u7684\uff0c\u4f46\u8db3\u591f\u8ba9\u6211\u610f\u6deb<\/p>\n
38\u3001A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
a. \u65e0\u6127\u4e8e\u5fc3\u54c8\uff1f\u8bb0\u6027\u4e0d\u597d\u5427\uff1f
\u610f\u8bd1b\uff1a \u81ea\u4ece\u90a3\u6b21\u5728\u4eba\u5996\u8eab\u8fb9\u9192\u6765\uff0c\u6bcf\u6b21\u53bb\u591c\u5e97\u6211\u90fd\u63d0\u9192\u81ea\u5df1\u201c\u4e00\u5b9a\u8981\u6234\u773c\u955c\u2026\u2026\u201d
c. \u610f\u8bc6\u6e05\u9192\u4e86\uff0c\u610f\u5473\u7740\u4e0d\u582a\u56de\u9996\u4e86\u3002<\/p>\n
39\u3001Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
a. \u6240\u8c13\u7684\u597d\u59d1\u5a18\uff0c\u54b3\uff01\u5c31\u662f\u8fd8\u6ca1\u88ab\u7fa4\u4f17\u6293\u5230\u7684JP\u5973\u00b7\u00b7\u00b7\u00b7\u00b7
b. \u60f3\u7acb\u724c\u574a\u5c31\u5f97\u4f1a\u88c5<\/p>\n
40\u3001He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
\u4e34\u5371\u5ffd\u7136\u5fae\u7b11\u7684\u90a3\u8c01\uff0c\u5b9a\u662f\u627e\u5230\u66ff\u7f6a\u7f8a\u9e1f~<\/p>\n
41\u3001 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
\u5982\u679c\u5973\u4eba\u80fd\u505a\u5230\u4ee5\u79c3\u9876\u548c\u5564\u9152\u809a\u5728\u5927\u8857\u4e0a\u6643\u8fd8\u89c9\u5f97\u81ea\u5df1\u500d\u513f\u6027\u611f\u2014\u2014\u6b64\u65f6\u4f30\u8ba1\u7537\u5973\u80fd\u5e73\u7b49\u3002<\/p>\n
42\u3001The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
\u5c0f\u817f\u4e0a\u7684\u9aa8\u5934\u2014\u2014\u5728\u9ed1\u623f\u95f4\u91cc\u627e\u51c6\u5bb6\u5177\u4f4d\u7f6e\u7684\u597d\u88c5\u5907\u3002<\/p>\n
43\u3001The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
\u5723\u8bde\u8001\u4eba\u5f53\u7136\u7f8e\uff0c\u4ed6\u77e5\u9053\u6240\u6709YD\u599e\u4f4f\u54ea\u513f\u554a\uff01<\/p>\n
44\u3001To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
\u527d\u7a83\u4e00\u4e2a\u4eba\u7684\u53eb\u527d\u7a83\uff0c\u527d\u7a83\u8bb8\u591a\u4eba\u7684\u53eb\u7814\u7a76\u3002
\u610f\u8bd1\uff1a\u7a83\u94a9\u8005\u8bdb\uff0c\u7a83\u56fd\u8005\u4e3a\u8bf8\u4faf\u3002<\/p>\n
45\u3001Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
\u6709\u4e9b\u4eba\u4e00\u6765\u5927\u5bb6\u5c31\u5f00\u5fc3\u4e86\uff1b\u6709\u4e9b\u4eba\u4e00\u8d70\u5927\u5bb6\u5c31\u5f00\u5fc3\u4e86\u3002.<\/p>\n
46\u3001 I discovered I scream the same way whether I\u2019m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
\u6211\u53d1\u73b0\uff0c\u6211\u6ef4\u811a\u4e2b\u88ab\u4e00\u5c0f\u7247\u513f\u6d77\u85fb\u64e6\u8fc7\u65f6\uff0c\u6211\u6ef4\u90a3\u4e2a\u60e8\u53eb\u58f0\u2014\u2014\u548c\u6211\u88ab\u5927\u767d\u9ca8\u5413\u574f\u65f6\u7684\u60e8\u53eb\u58f0\u662f\u4e00\u6837\u6ef4\u3002<\/p>\n
47\u3001Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
\u76f4\u8bd1\uff1a\u4f60\u82e5\u662f\u6324\u6ee1\u4eba\u7684\u7535\u68af\u91cc\u7684\u5c0f\u77ee\u4eba\uff0c\u80af\u5b9a\u80fd\u55c5\u51fa\u4e0d\u540c\u7684\u5473\u513f\u3002
\u610f\u8bd1\uff1a\u7075\u611f\u6765\u81ea\u4e8e\u6240\u7ad9\u7684\u89d2\u5ea6\u4e0e\u4f17\u4e0d\u540c\u3002<\/p>\n
48\u3001I didn\u2019t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
\u6211\u53ef\u6ca1\u6028\u4f60\uff01\u6211\u662f\u5728\u8c34\u8d23\u4f60\uff01<\/p>\n
49\u3001 Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says \u201cIf an emergency, notify:\u201d I put \u201cDOCTOR\u201d. What\u2019s my mother going to do?
\u5f53\u6211\u586b\u8868\u7684\u65f6\u5019\uff0c\u6709\u4e00\u9879\u662f\u201c\u7d27\u6025\u60c5\u51b5\u8054\u7cfb\uff1a\u201d \u6211\u586b\u4e0a\u4e86\u201c\u533b\u751f\u201d\uff0c\u5230\u65f6\u5019\u6211\u5988\u80fd\u5e2e\u4e0a\u4ec0\u4e48\u5fd9\uff1f\uff01<\/p>\n
50\u3001God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
\u4e0a\u5e1d\u4e00\u5b9a\u500d\u513f\u7231SB\uff0c\u4e0d\u7136\u4ed6\u9020\u8fd9\u4e48\u591a\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01\uff01<\/p>\n
51\u3001Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
\u6bcf\u4e00\u4e2a\u6210\u529f\u7684\u7537\u4eba\u80cc\u540e\u90fd\u6709\u4e00\u4e2a\u5973\u4eba\u3002\u6bcf\u4e00\u4e2a\u7ffb\u4e86\u8239\u7684\u6210\u529f\u7537\u4eba\u80cc\u540e\u5f80\u5f80\u662f\u53e6\u4e00\u4e2a\u5973\u4eba\u3002<\/p>\n
52\u3001I always take life with a grain of salt, \u2026plus a slice of lemon, \u2026and a shot of tequila.
\u751f\u6d3b\u5bf9\u4e8e\u6211\u6765\u8bf4\u662f\u5c0f\u83dc\u4e00\u789f\uff0c\u6211\u901a\u5e38\u5c31\u7740\u76d0\u548c\u67e0\u6aac\uff0c\u518d\u6765\u4e00\u5c0f\u676f\u70c8\u6027\u9152\u3002
\u610f\u8bd1a\uff1a\u751f\u6d3b\uff0c\u662f\u4e00\u56e2\u9ebb\u2026\u2026\u7ef3\uff0c\u2026\u2026\u518d\u52a0\u4e00\u6839\u8721\u70db\u2026\u2026\u4e00\u67c4\u76ae\u97ad\u3002
\u610f\u8bd1b: \u751f\u6d3b\uff0c\u4e0d\u5c31\u662f\u5148\u72c2\u5403\u83dc\uff0c\u7136\u540e\u628a\u70c8\u6027\u767d\u9152\u4e00\u996e\u800c\u5c3d\uff1f<\/p>\n
53\u3001The sole purpose of a child\u2019s middle name, is so he can tell when he\u2019s really in trouble.
\u76f4\u8bd1\uff1a\u5c0f\u5b69\u5b50\u8981\u4e2d\u95f4\u540d\uff0c\u7eaf\u7cb9\u662f\u4e3a\u4e86\u8ba9\u4ed6\u77e5\u9053\u4ed6\u5565\u65f6\u5019\u771f\u7684\u6709\u9ebb\u70e6\u4e86\u3002
\u76f4\u8bd1a\uff1a\u8d77\u4e2a\u5168\u540d\u5c31\u4e3a\u4e86\u63cd\u5b69\u5b50\u524d\u53ef\u4ee5\u5e95\u6c14\u5341\u8db3\u5730\u558a\u51fa\u6765\u3002
\u610f\u8bd1b\uff1a\u8d3e\u541b\u9e4f\u8fd9\u540d\u5b57\u5c31\u4e3a\u4e86\u8ba9\u4ed6\u5988\u558a\u4ed6\u56de\u5bb6\u5403\u996d\uff01<\/p>\n
54\u3001It\u2019s not the fall that kills you; it\u2019s the sudden stop at the end.
\u8df3\u697c\u7684\u65f6\u5019\uff0c\u201c\u554a\u2014\u2014\u201d\u7684\u65f6\u5019\u8fd8\u6ca1\u6b7b\uff0c\u201c\u556a\uff01\u201d\u90a3\u624d\u662f\u6b7b\u4e86\u3002<\/p>\n
55\u3001Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
\u4eba\u5de5\u667a\u80fd\u4ece\u6765\u654c\u4e0d\u8fc7\u5929\u7136\u8bf7\u52ff\u4f7f\u7528\u4e0d\u826f\u8bcd\u8bed\u3002<\/p>\n
56\u3001Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
\u76f4\u8bd1\uff1a\u4e0d\u8981\u7528\u773c\u955c\u817f\u6765\u6253\u7537\u4eba\uff0c\u7528\u68d2\u7403\u51fb\u6746\u3002
\u610f\u8bd1: \u8981\u4e0b\u624b\u5c31\u5f97\u72e0\uff0c\u752d\u6765\u6bdb\u6bdb\u96e8\u3002<\/p>\n
57\u3001There\u2019s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can\u2019t get away.
\u76f4\u8bd1\uff1a\u8981\u60f3\u7559\u4f4f\u8c01\uff0c\u5728\u62b1\u6454\u7684\u65f6\u5019\u6709\u4e00\u6761\u7ec6\u7ebf\u533a\u5206\u51fa\u4f60\u662f\u5426\u4e3a\u9ad8\u624b\u3002<\/p>\n
\u5176\u4ed6\u8bd1\u6cd5\uff1a\u62b1\u6454\u662f\u7559\u4e0d\u4f4f\u5973\u4eba\u7684\uff0c\u6402\u62b1\u624d\u7ba1\u7528\u3002\/\u62b1\u548c\u7206\u662f\u6709\u533a\u522b\u7684\u3002 \/\u63a8\u5012\u548c\u62e5\u62b1\u662f\u6709\u5fae\u5999\u7684\u533a\u522b\u7684\u54df\uff01\/\u62e5\u62b1\u548c\u67d4\u9053\u91cc\u7684\u538b\u5236\u662f\u6709\u533a\u522b\u7684\uff01<\/p>\n
58\u3001A bargain is something you don\u2019t need at a price you can\u2019t resist.
\u6240\u8c13\u780d\u4ef7\uff0c\u5c31\u662f\u8fd9\u4e1c\u897f\u867d\u7136\u4f60\u4e0d\u9700\u8981\uff0c\u4f46\u4ef7\u683c\u592a\u597d\u5fc5\u987b\u8981\u4e70\u4e0b\u6765\uff01<\/p>\n
59\u3001Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
\u7edd\u5bf9\u4e0d\u8981\u548c\u957f\u5f97\u4e11\u7684\u4e89\u6267\uff0c\u4ed6\u4eec\u5df2\u7ecf\u6ca1\u4ec0\u4e48\u53ef\u8f93\u7684\u4e86\u3002<\/p>\n
60\u3001My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
\u6211\u7684\u89c2\u70b9\u6216\u8bb8\u6539\u53d8\u4e86\uff0c\u4f46\u6211\u662f\u6b63\u786e\u7684\u8fd9\u4e00\u4e8b\u5b9e\u5374\u4e98\u53e4\u4e0d\u53d8\u3002
\u610f\u8bd1\uff1a\u6211\u4eec\u8981\u641e\u5171\u4ea7\u4e3b\u4e49\uff0c\u4e5f\u8981\u641e\u6709\u4e2d\u56fd\u7279\u8272\u7684\u793e\u4f1a\u4e3b\u4e49\u3002<\/p>\n
61\u3001My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you\u2019re ugly too.
\u5fc3\u7406\u533b\u5e08\uff1a\u4f60\u795e\u7ecf\u75c5\uff01\uff01\uff01 \u6211\uff1a\u80fd\u8bf4\u70b9\u522b\u7684\u5417\uff1f
\u5fc3\u7406\u533b\u5e08\uff1a\u597d\uff01\uff01\u800c\u4e14\u4f60\u771fTM\u4e11\uff01\uff01\uff01<\/p>\n
62\u3001 A little boy asked his father, \u201cDaddy, how much does it cost to get married?\u201d Father replied, \u201cI don\u2019t know son, I\u2019m still paying.\u201d
\u4e00\u5355\u7eaf\u50bb\u513f\u5b50\u95ee\u4ed6\u7239\uff1a\u201c\u7238\uff0c\u7ed3\u5a5a\u5230\u5e95\u8981\u82b1\u591a\u5c11\u94b1\u554a\uff1f\u201d\u4ed6\u7238\u8bf4\uff1a\u201c\u513f\u554a\uff0c\u6211\u771f\u4e0d\u77e5\u9053\u2026\u6ca1\u770b\u89c1\u6211\u8fd8\u5728\u4ea4\u94b1\u5417\uff1f\u201d<\/p>\n
63\u3001 Some people say \u201cIf you can\u2019t beat them, join them\u201d. I say \u201cIf you can\u2019t beat them, beat them\u201d, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
\u6709\u4eba\u8bf4\u201c\u6253\u4e0d\u8fc7\uff0c\u5c31\u5408\u4f5c\u201d\u3002\u6211\u8bf4\u201c\u6253\u4e0d\u8fc7\uff0c\u4e5f\u8981\u6253\u201d\u3002\u56e0\u4e3a\u4e2b\u4eec\u6307\u671b\u4f60\u52a0\u5165\uff0c\u5f97\u6765\u70b9\u60ca\u559c~\uff01<\/p>\n
64\u3001When in doubt, mumble.
\u8111\u5b50\u4e0d\u597d\u4f7f\u7684\u8bdd\uff0c\u4f60\u5c31\u561f\u56d4\u3002
\u4e0d\u660e\u767d\u7684\u8bdd\uff0c\u54fc\u54fc\u8bd5\u8bd5\u3002<\/p>\n
65\u3001I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
\u6211\u5df2\u51b3\u5b9a\u957f\u751f\u4e0d\u8001\uff0c\u76ee\u524d\u4e3a\u6b62\uff0c\u611f\u89c9\u826f\u597d\u3002<\/p>\n
66\u3001Hospitality: making your guests feel like they\u2019re at home, even if you wish they were
\u597d\u5ba2\u5c31\u662f\uff1a\u8ba9\u5ba2\u4eba\u89c9\u5f97\u4ed6\u4eec\u50cf\u5728\u4ed6\u4eec\u5bb6\u4e00\u6837\uff0c\u5c3d\u7ba1\u4f60\u771f\u7684\u5e0c\u671b\u4ed6\u4eec\u6eda\u56de\u4ed6\u4eec\u5bb6\u3002<\/p>\n
67\u3001If at first you don\u2019t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
\u8df3\u4f1e\u662f\u8fd9\u6837\u4e00\u79cd\u8fd0\u52a8\uff1a\u4e0d\u6210\u529f\u5219\u6210\u4ec1\uff01<\/p>\n
68\u3001A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
\u7535\u89c6\u4fae\u8fb1\u4f60\u7684\u667a\u5546\uff0c\u7535\u8111\u5219\u662f\u5410\u4f60\u69fd\u7684\u7ec8\u6781\u5b58\u5728\uff01<\/p>\n
69\u3001Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
\u77e5\u8bc6\u5c31\u662f\u529b\u91cf\uff0c\u529b\u91cf\u4f1a\u90aa\u6076\u5316\u3002\u90a3\u4e48\u5c31\u597d\u597d\u5b66\u4e60\u5f53\u5927\u9b54\u738b\u5427\uff01<\/p>\n
70\u3001Money can\u2019t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
\u94b1\u4e70\u4e0d\u6765\u5e78\u798f\uff0c\u4f46\u6709\u4e86\u5b83\uff0c\u75db\u82e6\u7684\u65e5\u5b50\u4f1a\u597d\u71ac\u4e00\u70b9\u3002<\/p>\n
71\u3001Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won\u2019t expect it back.
\u8ddf\u60b2\u89c2\u4e3b\u4e49\u8005\u501f\u94b1\u5427\uff01\u4ed6\u53cd\u6b63\u4e0d\u6307\u671b\u4f60\u8fd8\uff01\uff01\uff01<\/p>\n
72\u3001Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
\u62c5\u5fe7\u771f\u7684\u597d\u4f7f\uff01\uff01\u8001\u5b50\u62c5\u5fc3\u7684\u4e8b\u513f90%\u90fd\u6ca1\u53d1\u751f\uff01\uff01<\/p>\n
73\u3001Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
\u8d1e\u64cd\u5982\u6ce1\u5f71\uff0c\u4e00\u6233\u65e0\u8e2a\u5f71\u3002<\/p>\n
74\u3001Nostalgia isn\u2019t what it used to be.
\u8fd9\u5e74\u5934\uff0c\u8fde\u6000\u65e7\u90fd\u4e0d\u5982\u4ece\u524d\u591f\u5473\u513f\u4e86\u3002<\/p>\n
75\u3001With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
\u53ea\u8981\u4e3b\u4e49\u771f\uff0c\u732a\u4e5f\u6210\u8d85\u4eba\u3002
\u4fe1\u6625\u54e5 \uff0c\u5f97\u6c38\u751f<\/p>\n
76\u3001I should\u2019ve known it wasn\u2019t going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I\u2019m a Libra and she\u2019s a bitch.
\u6211\u65e9\u5c31\u8be5\u77e5\u9053\u6211\u8ddf\u6211EX\u6ca1\u620f\uff01\u5f52\u6839\u7ed3\u5e95\uff0c\u6211\u662f\u5929\u67b0\u5979\u662fJP\uff01<\/p>\n
77\u3001Hallmark Card: \u201cI\u2019m so miserable without you, it\u2019s almost like you\u2019re still here.\u201d
\u8c6a\u9a6c\u514b\u5361\u4e0a\u7684\u8bdd\uff1a\u6ca1\u6709\u4f60\u6211\u75db\u82e6\u4e07\u5206\uff0c\u6b63\u5982\u4f60\u5c31\u5728\u6b64\u5904\u3002\uff08\u6ca1\u6709\u5973\u4eba\u51b7\u51b7\u6e05\u6e05\uff0c\u6709\u4e86\u5973\u4eba\u9e21\u72ac\u4e0d\u5b81\uff09<\/p>\n
78\u3001You\u2019re never too old to learn something stupid.
\u8d8a\u6d3b\u8d8a2~ \/\u6d3b\u5230\u8001,2\u5230\u8001<\/p>\n
79\u3001A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
\u76f4\u8bd1\uff1a\u5916\u4ea4\u5bb6\u4eec\u8bf4\u8ba9\u4f60\u4e0b\u5730\u72f1\u7684\u65f6\u5019\uff0c\u63aa\u8f9e\u4e5f\u597d\u50cf\u4f60\u6b63\u5df4\u4e0d\u5f97\u6765\u8fd9\u4e48\u8d9f\u65c5\u884c\u3002<\/p>\n
80\u3001 I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, \u201cI\u2019m going to mop the floor with your face.\u201d I said, \u201cYou\u2019ll be sorry.\u201d He said, \u201cOh, yeah? Why?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, you won\u2019t be able to get into the corners very well.\u201d
\u6211\u548c\u4e2a\u58ee\u6c49\u95f9\u6025\u4e86\u3002 \u4ed6\uff1a\u8001\u5b50\u975e\u5f97\u7528\u4f60\u4e2b\u8138\u628a\u5730\u7ed9\u64e6\u4e86\uff01\uff01\uff01 \u6211\uff1a\u4f60\u4f1a\u540e\u6094\u7684\uff01\uff01 \u4ed6\uff1a\u5662\uff1f\u771f\u54d2\uff1f\u600e\u4e48\u8bb2\uff1f \u6211\uff1a\u5443\uff0c\u8fb9\u8fb9\u89d2\u89d2\u7684\u5730\u65b9\u4f60\u64e6\u4e0d\u5230\uff01\uff01\uff01<\/p>\n
81\u3001Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
\u6709\u4e9b\u4eba\u5439\u725b\u8bf4\u4e2b\u80fd\u901a\u7075\uff0c\u6709\u4e9b\u4eba\u5439\u725b\u8bf4\u4e2b\u6709\u9634\u9633\u773c\uff0c\u5176\u4ed6\u4eba\u53ea\u662f\u6ca1\u6709\u8fd9\u79cd\u60f3\u8c61\u529b\u800c\u5df2<\/p>\n
82\u3001I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
\u554a\u6211\u597d\u7231\u597d\u7231\u5de5\u4f5c\u554a~ \u5de5\u4f5c\u8ba9\u6211\u597d\u7740\u8ff7\u554a~\u6211TMD\u6b7b\u76ef\u7740\u5b83\u51e0\u4e2a\u5c0f\u65f6\u4e86\u554a\uff01<\/p>\n
83\u3001We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
\u67aa\u652f\u7ba1\u7406\u4e0d\u662f\u95ee\u9898\uff0cSB\u7ba1\u7406\u624d\u662f\u95ee\u9898<\/p>\n
84\u3001Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
\u5973\u4eba\u6216\u8bb8\u51fb\u5f97\u5e76\u4e0d\u91cd\uff0c\u4f46\u5979\u4eec\u51fb\u5f97\u66f4\u4f4e\u2026..
\u5973\u4eba\u603b\u662f\u80fd\u51fb\u4e2d\u7537\u4eba\u7684\u8981\u5bb3\u3002<\/p>\n
85\u3001Just remember\u2026if the world didn\u2019t suck, we\u2019d all fall off.
\u76f4\u8bd1\uff1a\u8bb0\u7740\u5427\u2026\u2026\u4e16\u754c\u8981\u4e0d\u6076\u5fc3\uff0c\u6211\u4eec\u65e9\u88ab\u5410\u6389\u4e86\u3002
\u522b\u62b1\u6028\u4e86\uff0c\u8fd9\u4e2a\u4e16\u754c\u8981\u662f\u771f\u548c\u8c10\u4e86\uff0c\u6211\u4eec\u8fd9\u79cd\u4eba\u5c31\u4e0d\u5e94\u8be5\u5b58\u5728~
\u610f\u8bd1\uff1a\u4f60\u4eecTMD\u7ed9\u6211\u8bb0\u4f4f\uff1a\u6ca1\u6709\u548c\u8c10\u793e\u4f1a\uff0c\u4f60\u4eec\u65e9\u8ba9\u7f8e\u5e1d\u56fd\u4e3b\u4e49\u7ed9\u7cdf\u8e4b\u4e86\uff01<\/p>\n
86\u3001Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you\u2019re an asshole.
\u4e0a\u5e1d\u8700\u9ecd\u75bc\u4f60\uff0c\u53ea\u662f\u5927\u5bb6\u90fd\u89c9\u5f97\u4f602B\u800c\u5df2<\/p>\n
87\u3001I used to be indecisive. Now I\u2019m not sure.
a. \u8fc7\u53bb\u8001\u5b50\u5de6\u53f3\u4e3a\u96be\u3002\u73b0\u5728\u8001\u5b50\u4f18\u67d4\u5be1\u65ad\u3002
b. \u6211\u66fe\u662f\u4e2a\u6000\u7591\u8bba\u8005\uff0c\u73b0\u5728\u6211\u5f88\u6000\u7591\u8fd9\u4e00\u70b9\u3002
c. \u8fc7\u53bb\u6211\u96be\u4ee5\u51b3\u65ad\uff0c\u73b0\u5728\u6211\u4e0d\u5927\u786e\u4fe1\u662f\u5426\u8fd8\u662f\u5982\u6b64\u3002<\/p>\n
88\u3001I don\u2019t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn\u2019t die.
\u8001\u5b50\u6253\u6b7b\u90fd\u4e0d\u4fe1\u6d41\u88405\u5929\u8fd8\u4e0d\u6302\u7684\u7269\u79cd\u3002\/\u8001\u5b50\u6253\u6b7b\u90fd\u4e0d\u4fe1\u5a18\u4eec\u513f\u3002<\/p>\n
89\u3001If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you\u2019ll have trouble putting on your pants.
\u76f4\u8bd1\uff1a\u5982\u679c\u4f60\u59cb\u7ec8\u811a\u8e0f\u5b9e\u5730\uff0c\u90a3\u5c31\u522b\u60f3\u7a7f\u88e4\u5b50\u4e86\u3002
\u610f\u8bd1\uff1a\u4eba\u592a\u8001\u5b9e\u6ca1\u6cd5\u6d3b\u3002<\/p>\n
90\u3001To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
\u522b\u4eba\u662f\u6307\u54ea\u513f\u6253\u54ea\u513f\uff0c\u6211\u662f\u6253\u54ea\u513f\u6307\u54ea\u513f\u3002<\/p>\n
91\u3001 You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket\u2026 I\u2019d miss you heaps and think of you often.
\u597d\u5427\uff0c\u65e2\u7136\u8fd9\u8258\u8239\u8981\u6c89\u4e86\uff0c\u6551\u751f\u8863\u53c8\u53ea\u6709\u4e00\u4ef6\uff0c\u6211\u5c31\u52c9\u4e3a\u5176\u96be\u7684\u865a\u4f2a\u4e00\u4e0b\uff0c\u4f60\u5bf9\u6211\u6765\u8bf4\u5b9e\u5728\u662f\u4e0d\u80fd\u518d\u597d\u7684\u670b\u53cb\u4e86\u2026\u6211\u4e00\u5b9a\u4f1a\u7ecf\u5e38\u60f3\u5ff5\u4f60\u6ef4~!!!<\/p>\n
92\u3001Going to church doesn\u2019t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
\u7ad9\u5728\u8f66\u5e93\u7684\u4f60\u5e76\u4e0d\u4f1a\u53d8\u6210\u4e00\u8f86\u8f66\u662f\u5427\uff1f\u6240\u4ee5\u7ad9\u5728\u6559\u5802\u7684\u4f60\u4e5f\u4e0d\u4f1a\u53d8\u6210\u57fa\u7763\u5f92\u3002<\/p>\n
93\u3001Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
\u4e16\u754c\u603b\u662f\u5728\u53d8\uff0c\u4f46\u6211\u5374\u600e\u4e48\u4e5f\u4fbf\u4e0d\u51fa\u6765\u3002
\u610f\u8bd1\uff1a\u4eba\u751f\u4f55\u5904\u4e0d\u676f\u5177\uff0c\u552f\u6709\u9762\u5bf9\u996e\u6c34\u673a\u3002<\/p>\n
94\u3001If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
\u5047\u8bbe\u6211\u4eec\u4f1a\u5403\u4e00\u5811\uff0c\u957f\u4e00\u667a\uff0c\u4e3a\u4ec0\u4e48\u603b\u6709\u4eba\u751f\u4e86\u4e00\u4e2a\u8fd8\u4f1a\u751f\uff1f<\/p>\n
95\u3001A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
\u516c\u8f66\u603b\u5728\u88ab\u8ffd\u8d76\u7684\u65f6\u5019\u7684\u901f\u5ea6\u8981\u6bd4\u4f60\u5728\u91cc\u9762\u65f6\u7684\u901f\u5ea6\u5feb\u4e24\u500d\u3002
\u4e00\u65e6\u4f60\u5728\u516c\u8f66\u540e\u9762\u8ffd\uff0c\u5b83\u7684\u901f\u5ea6\u5c31\u4f1a\u53d8\u5f97\u6bd4\u4f60\u5728\u91cc\u9762\u6240\u611f\u89c9\u5f97\u5feb\u3002<\/p>\n
96\u3001Whoever coined the phrase \u201cQuiet as a mouse\u201d has never stepped on one.
\u53d1\u660e\u201c\u9f20\u52a8\u65e0\u58f0\u201d\u8fd9\u8bcd\u513f\u7684\u54e5\u4eec\u4e00\u5b9a\u6ca1\u8e29\u4e0a\u8fc7\u4e00\u53ea\u3002<\/p>\n
97\u3001You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
\u8fc7\u4e86\u6cb3\u4e5f\u522b\u62c6\u6865\uff0c\u6ca1\u51c6\u4f60\u8fd8\u8981\u56de\u6765\u5462\u3002<\/p>\n
98\u3001The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in the taste.
\u53e3\u8154\u4f53\u6e29\u8ba1\u548c\u83ca\u82b1\u4f53\u6e29\u8ba1\u6709\u5565\u4e0d\u540c\uff1f\u5c1d\u5c1d\u770b\u5c31\u77e5\u9053\u4e86<\/p>\n
99\u3001When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
\u4ee5\u66b4\u6cbb\u66b4\uff0c\u4e0d\u5982\u4ee5\u62b1\u6cbb\u7206\u3002<\/p>\n
100\u3001Remember, if you smoke after sex you\u2019re doing it too fast.
\u76f4\u8bd1\uff1a\u8bb0\u7740\uff0c\u5982\u679c\u4f60\u5728\u563f\u54bb\u540e\u5192\u70df\u4e86\uff0c\u8bc1\u660e\u4f60\u6574\u5f97\u592a\u5feb\u4e86\u3002<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
1\u3001I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn\u2019t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. \u5f00\u59cb\u6211\u76f4\u63a5\u6c42\u4e0a\u5e1d\u8d50\u8f86\u81ea\u884c\u8f66\u3002 \u540e\u6765\u6211\u7422\u78e8\u4e0a\u5e1d\u529e\u4e8b\u513f\u4e0d\u662f\u8fd9\u4e2a\u8def\u6570\u3002 \u4e8e\u662f\u8001\u5b50\u5077\u4e86\u4e00\u8f86\u7136\u540e\u6c42\u4e0a\u5e1d\u5bbd\u6055\u3002 2\u3001I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. \u6211\u5e0c\u671b\u80fd\u50cf\u7237\u7237\u90a3\u6837\uff0c\u5b89\u9759\u5730\u5728\u7761\u68a6\u4e2d\u6b7b\u53bb\u2026\u2026 \u800c\u4e0d\u662f\u8981\u50cf\u4ed6\u5f00\u7684\u8f66\u4e0a\u90a3\u4e9b\u60e8\u53eb\u6ef4\u4e58\u5ba2\u4e00\u6837\u6b7b\u6cd5\u554a\uff01 3\u3001Do not argue with an idiot. … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1,55],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.genepeng.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.genepeng.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.genepeng.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.genepeng.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.genepeng.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=235"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.genepeng.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.genepeng.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=235"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.genepeng.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=235"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.genepeng.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=235"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}